I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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