Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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