I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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