there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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