you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
