He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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