We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
