dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
