After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
