week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
