We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
