I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
