Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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