i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
