You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
