my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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