ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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