So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
