I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize