the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
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You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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