i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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