My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
