PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
