So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
