Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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