Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
