That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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