I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize