I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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