Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
