i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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