But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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