So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
