Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
