so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
