I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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