Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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