You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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