I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize