im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
