I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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