yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
