So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
