do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
