Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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