Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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