first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
