i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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