I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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