So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize