You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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