I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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