saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
