Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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