The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
