I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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