Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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