The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
