I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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