Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
