Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
