So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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