thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
