If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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