I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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