Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize