the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
